CANDACE BUSHNELL, INTERNATIONAL BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF SEX AND THE CITY, SPEAKS WITH WE MAGAZINE ABOUT MOTIVATION, HER EPIPHANY, AND THOSE NEW OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO US.
What motivates you profession-wise now - as opposed to your younger self - and how important is it for you to continue working?
Pretty much the same things that motivated me when I was younger: I′m fascinated by people. I′m always wanting to find answers and to understand human nature. Why we are the way we are? What are the factors that shape us, drive us and how? I feel good when I′m working. I feel like my best self.
The world has changed so much since you published your last book in 2019 - in regards to everything including overall approach to career-making, work-life balance, personal relationships, feminism. What new trends do you find the most fascinating and what dying out trends do you mourn?
I think the world has changed enormously since I published Sex and the City back in 1996 and has also changed since 2019. Technology continues to evolve and I do think that changes and impacts our culture. On the other hand, people are still people, with our very human desires for connection. So that hasn′t changed. The trends I find fascinating are how many new opportunities we have to connect. There are all kinds of things that didn′t exist in the past, including social media and podcasts for instance. On the other hand, it feels like everyone is so busy these days and there′s so much competition for attention. It′s all a bit exhausting. I often marvel about how, twenty or thirty years ago, I would spend the whole weekend hanging out with friends and none of us were thinking about work but only about enjoying each other.
How do you feel about the conclusion of the Sex and the City franchise? Were you satisfied with the way Carrie Bradshaw lived her later years or maybe you wished for some things to be done differently, maybe truer to her original character?
Making a TV show - creating anything, in fact - is a huge amount of work. So I′m enormously grateful that so many talented people still wanted to continue the stories of these beloved characters. I published the book thirty years ago, so of course one hopes that in a different medium it will take on a life of its own, and remarkably, it has. Over the years, all of the people who have worked on the franchise bring their own ideas and experiences and their best self, and I don′t think one can ask for more. So many women have come up to me over the years and told me how Sex and the City changed their lives or gave them a new way to think about their lives. I couldn′t be more proud.
Are you as obsessed with fashion as Carrie is? How did you feel when you were told that Dame Anna Wintour is also going to speak at the WE Convention?
I′m not as obsessed with fashion as Carrie Bradshaw, but I did write for Vogue for a few years, just like Carrie Bradshaw! I wrote the ′People Are Talking About′ column and many features. I interviewed Hugh Grant in London right after Four Weddings and a Funeral and wrote about wearing bold dresses (all the rage back in the mid-1990′s) and posed for a photo with the six-foot tall model Jamie King. I loved writing for Vogue and I′m so excited and thrilled that Dame Anna Wintour is speaking at WE.
It seems that nowadays career women like Sex and The City gang are becoming more and more self-sufficient, they need a man for the joy of companionship. How do you think the exclusion of ′need′ affects the dating/relationship dynamics from both male and female perspective?
I SHOULD PROBABLY SPEND MORE TIME DOING SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT I JUST DON′T WANT IT TO BE MY JOB
This is something I talk about a bit in my one-woman show. Back in 1996, when the real Mr. Big broke up with me on the same day that I got the galleys for my first book, Sex and the City - a goal I′d been working towards for over fifteen years - I had another one of those epiphany
moments: I realized I didn′t want to be with Mr. Big - I wanted to be Mr. Big. Meaning, I wanted to be financially successful, independent and I wanted to be in charge of my own fate. This is something I see so much now in young women. They are educated and accomplished. They′re smart. They have a sense of humor. They have careers and they make their own money, and they believe in themselves. It′s thrilling for me that Sex and the City has had a bit of influence on helping young women realize their dreams.
Of course, women′s economic independence has had some effect on dating and relationship dynamics. After all, up until the 1970′s in the US a woman couldn′t be economically independent, meaning she couldn′t get a mortgage or have her own credit card, so this drove a lot of women′s choices - or rather lack of choices. Now a woman doesn′t have to stay with a man who doesn′t treat her well, and has many more choices about how she wants to live her life, so I think we can all agree that women having economic power is overall a wonderful thing.
The reality is that there are so many factors affecting relationships right now. Now people can be single and this suits some people. There′s also a plethora of other elements competing for the time and attention we used to put into relationships in person, especially technology. So while women′s economic independence has had some effect on dating dynamics, it′s certainly not the only factor. It′s one of several.
As far as we know, you are not a big fan of social media culture. But as a public figure you have to have and use social media. How do you navigate, is it smooth sailing or not so much?
I′m actually not against social media at all, in fact, I find it fascinating! Like others, I probably spend too much time on it. I think I′m what they call a ᳓lurker᳓? I love to check out other people′s posts, especially friends. Although sometimes it makes me crazy if I see a really good party and I wasn′t invited.
Some people are amazing at social media and I don′t think I′m one of them, although I admire people who are good at it. I should probably spend more time doing it, but I just don′t want it to be my job. I′d rather spend time in another medium, like a book or my one-woman show or answering these questions for you!
You once said that in New York one must know how to talk to strangers. What was the most fateful encounter you had by just coming up to a person and striking a conversation? Do you have some appealing secrets for young people who have trouble communicating offline?
Back in the day, striking up a conversation with a stranger was how a lot of young people met their significant other. And it could happen anywhere. It was the real life ᳓meet cute᳓, like in an old-fashioned movie. You could meet the person in the cereal section of the supermarket and end up marrying them. That didn′t exactly happen to me, but I did meet my husband at a gala for the New York City ballet. In person communication is so important - after all, most of life′s biggest moments still take place in person.
Being social and communicating in person is really just a skill like any other. I think it′s about being interested in other people. Asking questions. I like to ask people what was the best thing that happened to them that week. Most people like to talk about themselves, or like it when people are interested in them.
Tell us a bit about the more personal side of you - what do you like to do when you are not working, what inspires you and gives you such a radiant look?
Thank you! The radiant look probably comes from lucky genes. I try to exercise a bit every day and maintain the same weight. I enjoy cooking when I have time, and in fact cook for my dogs - two elderly standard poodles. I guess my hobby in a way is socializing and going out.
Because I′ve been working from home for the past forty years, and working alone, it′s really important for me to go out and interact with other people. I find I usually have at least one very interesting conversation and oftentimes several. I′m inspired and/or I learn something new and important every time I go out.
